A person can have the best intentions, and have big dreams of treating you well, but sometimes actually being able to deliver on those dreams is another story all together.
To be good in a relationship takes work, and the biggest part of that work is individual work on yourself. To learn to be honest, and act with integrity is nearly impossible if you don’t know yourself and you don’t know what you stand for. If you have done the work and matured then you know that you are a loyal person, that you have integrity, but if you’ve never even taken the time to think about these things, and never self reflect on the type of person you want to be or believe yourself to be you don’t know how you will act in any given situation. This makes it very difficult to make the right decision when faced with temptation.
A person who has done a lot of self-reflection and has a deep knowing that they ARE a person of integrity and loyalty who finds themselves in a tempting situation doesn’t really have a decision to make. They will make the right choice *easily* and avoid the temptation because it’s not who they are. It becomes very easy to make decisions that align with who you believe yourself to be if you have done the work before hand.
A person who has never given any thought to this and doesn’t know who they are has all of those choices running through their head at once in the face of the decision and all the temptation. They can easily make a bad choice by choosing the temptation of the moment. It’s too hard and too many choices need to be made with all that temptation staring you right in the face.
I don’t mean to make excuses for anyone. Just stating a fact of human behavior. You can count on erratic decision making that doesn’t make sense from anyone who hasn’t done this type of self reflection and maturing. And until they do, you may not be able to trust them because they don’t even know who they are or what they stand for.
I would stay away from, or keep at arm’s length, anyone who doesn’t seem to stand for anything or have a solid idea of who they are inside or boundaries. They might make a good decision which leads you to believe they can be trusted and then the next day make a totally different (bad) decision that makes no sense according to the other good decision they had previously made.
They are at the whim of their temptations, and so are you if you trust a person like this.
It can be tricky to see this type of lacking in another person, but if you do spot it, do yourself a huge favor and keep yourself at a safe distance.
Yours in Truth,
Rowan