One of the biggest tells of a lie is of course, hearing two variations of a story.
You hear something different and it trips your lie radar and you think, “Wait a minute here, that’s not what you said before.” This is often the first sign that you’ve been lied to, but there is another tell that is similar to this but more subtle.
If someone is telling the truth not only will they not have many variations or leave things out/add things in etc – they will often use the same exact words and phrasing. Not in a mechanical way, just in a way that gives you the impression that this is truly their perspective and it isn’t changing from one time of telling the story to the next. So, if someone tells the same story and they tell it the same way, with the same main points and much of the same phrasing they are probably telling the truth because it is genuinely their perception of the event(s), and that perspective doesn’t often change from one time to the next of telling a story.
On the other hand if the story is pretty different every time they tell it, that can be a sign that it isn’t the truth, or at least not the whole truth.
This happens a lot if someone is fabricating an event that didn’t actually happen, or saying that they were at an event or doing something that they actually never did or were never a part of.
You can see how then the story would be a bit different each time because there is no perspective on an actual event.
The whole thing is made up. For instance, if someone said they were going to stop by their brother’s house on the way home from work when actually they were meeting up with a co-worker to have a drink behind your back, they would have to come up with a bit of a story of what it was like at their brother’s house to tell you when you ask the natural question of, “How’s your brother?” or, “How was your brother’s house?”
If you feel like they might be making it up, ask them again at a later time and see if the story changes – or an even bigger tell – if they get angry or defensive about it. After all, you’re just asking a perfectly normal question. There’s no accusation in it at all.
Yours in Truth,
Rowan